You Get What You Give

WARNING: This blog entry is not giving advice from the standpoint of a medical professional. If you, or someone you know, seems to be struggling with depression, get help immediately.

With that being said, I'm going to talk about girls. Girls girls girls. Yuck. All I see on Facebook anymore are those pictures that say "Like if you agree" and a bunch of them say things like this: (my personal explanation will follow)

"See that girl? She looks happy, right? Well really, she's dying inside. She's hurt. Tired of the drama. Tired of not being good enough. She doesn't want to seem weak, so she keeps it all inside. To everyone else, she seems like the happiest person around. If they only knew the truth..."

Okay, first off. That girl probably looks happy because she's rich. Haha. Okay, just kidding. Anyway. If this is you, GET HELP. Why be depressed about "not being good enough"? If you feel like you aren't good enough, you should probably seek help, because that's a sign of depression. Bottling things up is also VERY BAD. Don't do it. Find SOMEONE to talk to. Just someone who will listen. Seriously. If you feel hurt and torn up inside, talk to somebody. Even if its your dog.

"Never become "just friends" with someone you used to love, because part of your heart will always love them..."

Wrong. I've loved a few people and we are still friends. No, I don't love them anymore. Your "heart" will not ALWAYS love someone. Mind over matter. Get over it. Your relationship (or even if you didn't have a relationship with them and you're still convinced that you loooooved them) was obviously not meant to be or you would be with them.

"Missing someone + No text from them = worst feeling ever."

Text them first, dummy! Come on. If you really wanted to talk to them, you would A) Text them first. B) Call them. or C) Suffer the long and agonizing wait until school in the morning to talk to them. Stop feeling bad for yourself. If they aren't texting you back for who knows what reason, maybe YOU should get over it. For real.

"I want a boy that will hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous. I want someone who would sing to me at random moments. Someone who is more goofy than romantic. A boy that would throw stuffed animals at me when I'm being dumb. Someone who would bet me kisses that he could beat me at all the old playstation games and then let me win. He'd play with my hair all the time and surprise me with 25 cent rings. But mostly... someone to be my best friend and never break my heart, instead; just always make me smile."

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, WRONG. You don't want this. I promise. If you had this, you would find every reason to poke and prod about them not being "mature" and if someone threw a stuffed animal at me when I was acting dumb, you'd better believe I'd get PISSED OFF. As would anyone who is trying to make a point. Bet you kisses? Oh that's cute. Gag. The end is what gets me. "Just always make me smile." Okay, here's the thing. A relationship isn't going to be fun and games and cuteness all the time. If that's all it is, then it's not much of a relationship. Relationships have to grow and evolve to be productive. Growth is made by change. You know what happens when things change? Someone doesn't like it and an argument ensues. 

Every single relationship that is worthwhile and meaningful is going to have disagreements, arguments, and fights. If you go about them the CORRECT way, they can be productive. If you go about them in the wrong manner, considering all you want are hugs, kisses, and snuggles the whole relationship and you're not accepting the fact that PEOPLE CHANGE, then your relationship will most likely fail.

It also bothers me to see girls who recently got dumped by a guy be soooo upset when it was basically THEIR FAULT. Yeah, ladies, your fault. I know I've messed up a couple relationships because it was my fault, but look where I am today. It obviously didn't kill me. The relationships where the girl picks and prods about everything the guy does. He plays video games too much, he doesn't talk to me when his friends are over, he doesn't do what I ask him to, he doesn't take me out on dates anymore, he doesn't surprise me, etc. Listen up! It MIGHT be because you're not noticing all the things he does RIGHT. My husband and I just got into a tiff last week about this. I was basically pointing out all the negatives and not looking at all the things he does that goes unnoticed. He put together a tv stand, cleaned up our room, plugged in my laptop, took out the trash, and many other things, but all I could see was the lemonade that was spilled, the clothes that were out of the basket, and that he didn't throw away his pop bottle. Yeah, it sounds petty, but it happens. Girls like to look for things to pick about. Sometimes not intentionally; I wasn't intentionally looking for something to whine about, but I did. I noticed the things he did, yeah, but I didn't make a comment about it. A simple "thank you" or "wow, the room looks nice!" would have been all he needed. Guys want to feel appreciated. They do little things that we don't really notice most of the time, or when we do notice them we think "Oh, good. I won't have to do that later." but men need to HEAR that. Tell them thank you. Tell them you appreciate the little things they do, and be specific! If he comes to pick you up for a date and he shaved, tell him you think that he looks nice or thanks for picking you up. Just little things to boost his attitude. You get what you give. So if you give negativity, you're bound to get it.

A New Journey

Hello again! I have been go-go-go for the past week and now life has slowed down enough for an entry to let you all know I'm alive and well.

   This week has been CRAZY. Starting with Monday. In the morning I stopped by Marie's house to pick up  my disc of FABULOUS images from my Rock The Dress session :) as I said goodbye she had already made up in her mind that I wasn't getting away that easy, so she invited me to hang out with her and Cakes that evening. I gladly accepted and went on my way to do some packing. I didn't end up doing a whole lot of packing, but I picked up my best friend (aka: Karissa) and went home. My grandparents looked at my photos and found them absolutely stunning and we watched some tv. Afterwards I went to Marie's house, had some of her lovely lasagna and trekked off to watch her boyfriend's softball game! We got home late and after a wonderful last-night home, it was time for sleep.

Tuesday: What a day! I woke up, bought my plane ticket to leave at 7 p.m., and I was off. I left the house a little before 11 after a very painful goodbye to my most favorite people, my grandparents. My grandma had some testing at the hospital and I wasn't sure if I would see them again before I left at 4ish. I went to Aroma's and had a scrumptious breakfast/lunch (I don't like the word "brunch" because it just reminds me of The Brady Bunch and curly hair) with Sarah Monroe and we had lots of catching up to do! After a stinging goodbye, I went home to finish packing and laundry. Little did I know that I had WAY more stuff than I thought. *whoops!* Around 3, my mom went to pick up Karissa as I tried to finish up the laundry. Wellllll that didn't happen. So I took all the clothes I could fit in two suitcases, along with Corey's PS3, and two blankets. After lugging those out to the car it was time for my final goodbye to my grandparents. I'm not even going to go into detail because I would be typing like this- And then... sniffle sniffle... I said.... sniffle *bawl like a baby*.. goodbye to Mam.... *bawling tremendously*...and Pap.. So we're not gonna go there! After that I had to stop at my mom's house to say bye to my brother Joey and my dad (and my dog, of course). When all of that was said and done, we left for the airport. Upon arriving to the Drop-Off area it hit me that I may not see 3 of my favorite people I used to sometimes take for granted, for a very long time: My best friend who has been there for me through thick-and-thin, no matter what, my little sister who I sometimes wanted to strangle, and my mother, who despite our differences sometimes, she is the only person I could go to with anything and everything throughout my whole life. The hugs and goodbyes went in that order, followed by one last hug for my little sister that broke. my heart..

         LISTEN UP: As much as you may or may not despise your smaller siblings sometimes for bursting into your room, making a mess in your car, embarrassing you in front of your friends or boyfriend/girlfriend, going on and on about random little-kid shows, asking you 1000 questions about anything and everything, etc. REMEMBER. One day, if you have to leave them, you will miss them. When you see the tears in their eyes, when they tell you "I wish you didn't have to leave"... It will break your heart in a million pieces.

  As I wiped the tears from my eyes and pretended to look fine, I walked in the airport. I flew to Dallas/Fort Worth for a short layover, and then to Waco where my husband was waiting for me with a much-needed hug and kiss. Seeing his face made everything okay. It didn't make me not miss anyone from home, or take away the pain of the goodbyes, but he made everything bearable, everything okay.

   Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday went by like a flash! I got to sleep in our own bed for a few hours on Tuesday night and was up early Wednesday for a "Marriage Retreat". Oh I know what it sounds like. It sounds like where someone goes that has a "problem marriage", because that's what I thought it was! Haha. However, it wasn't like that at all. The seminar was held in Dallas at Embassy Hotel & Suites for 2 and 1/2 days. It was entitled "Laugh Your Way to A Better Marriage" and consisted of only couples from Fort Hood, some of which had been married a few months, and others who had been married for 25+ years! It was a learning experience and we both really enjoyed it and learned a lot to help us when times get rough in our life.

   We got back around 4 on Friday evening and ate, looked at cars, and finally just came home and crashed. Today Corey is gone for something at work and that leaves me home alone. My only thought for the day is "Hmm.. Okay... I know no one here, I'm in the middle of an Army base, we have no furniture yet, our stuff hasn't gotten here yet, and I'm in pain. Fun day." Sounds like a blast, right? It'll get better.

   This upcoming week we are *fingers crossed* getting a car! Hopefully after that we can acquire some furniture and liven up this house a little! I don't have much of a life, really, but I'll try to keep everyone updated on our lives here in the Hood! (that joke is gonna get old reeeeal quick...)

I'm almost always free, so feel free to send me a text or call anytime you'd like because I need people to keep me updated on all the wondrous happenings of Brookville and such :)

Just A Little Input

   So this week has been kind of busy and crazy, considering I am moving at the end of the week/beginning of next week. Also, I have an Upper GI (scope with a camera and small knife for biopsies, inserted down your throat into your stomach and small intestine) in the morning and that's been quite the run-around with the insurance. However, tonight's blog will be about acceptance, support, and small things that really impact your life whether you notice it now or not.

  I'll start off with acceptance. I am and always have been, a people pleaser. I do things to make others happy and my happiness is always second, sometimes third, and so on. I always want to be accepted and have people like me. I think this is honestly just one of my traits and I'm not going to be able to "grow" out of it or change it. I think I will always want the approval of someone, whether it be my family, friends, or complete strangers. In ways, that's not so bad. Consider at a job: being accepted and approved of is a good thing! The more recognition you get for doing a good job and putting others first, the farther you move up. However, sometimes its detrimental. Think about family and friends: there will ALWAYS be someone who doesn't approve of how you do things, how you live your life, how you raise your children, how you cook your meals, etc. I understand that I shouldn't take everything my family and friends say to heart, but on the inside I always remember the things that have been said. I shouldn't need everyone's "approval" and maybe I should just "grow up" and not listen to them, but that's not my personality and not how I am. I'm always going to want to make others happy and I will do anything to be accepted in my choices. No, that's probably not healthy. And honestly, if I did this with EVERY aspect of my life, I wouldn't have 1. dropped out of high school, 2. gotten married, or 3. decided to move away from everything and everyone I have ever known. I suppose I don't do this in every aspect, but trust me: I remember everything that has been said to me about "rushing into my marriage" "dropping out of school" and how it was "a terrible decision" and how I have disappointed family and friends. Yes. I totally understand I'm a grown woman and I shouldn't listen to anyone as long as I'm happy, but I do! I care what everyone thinks! I care what my mother thinks, what my cousins think, what people from my graduating class think. I care! I know I'm getting quite repetitive, but seriously. To end this topic.... I care what everyone thinks. Big or small impact on my life, I care. I always will want to "fit in" and be accepted by people, and that's something I will deal with. Yeah, I'll probably pout every once and awhile, but it's true. I feel the need to be accepted, even if it's by a few people.

   Next! Support. I'm not even sure where to start. From a very young age I have been supported in many, if not all, the choices I have made. Around high school is where I saw less and less support. I understand that dropping out of high school may have not been the "right" choice, but it was for me. "What's right for one person, isn't right for everyone." That is a quote my mom used every time I would get worked up and upset about my choices. I dropped out of high school because I had ongoing (and still do) medical problems that keep me from doing everyday activities and sitting at school (or anywhere basically) for long periods of time. I would just get so worked up about missing school because of being sick that I would get to school, sit in the parking lot, and cry. I couldn't go inside, I WOULDN'T go inside, because I was so far behind and I couldn't face my teachers and fellow students with work that "should" have been completed. [It's a vicious cycle getting caught up after missing an extended amount of school-work, keep that in mind. A person can only handle so much.] I wasn't supported very much (besides my mother and a few close family members) about dropping out, but shortly after I got my GED (with honors- I didn't even know that existed) and was soon engaged afterwords, to the man who is now my husband. Getting engaged and married was another one of the "acceptance" issues. To this day my parents and grandparents still do not "approve" of me getting married, but not once did they decline helping me plan my wedding. They saw that I was an adult and their approval or disapproval wasn't going to stop me. I will be forever grateful for their generosity and help throughout everything. My grandparents even opened up their home to let my husband live here while he was home on leave. From day one of dating, my (now) husband has supported me in everything. He watched me do homework, cry because I was so far behind, drop out of school, get my GED, and even with little steps along the way. This is why I believe our marriage is, and will continue to be, successful. He has supported me, and I have supported him. Before him, I hated (let's say it again) HATED the Army. Yep. I hated it because I wasn't educated and I just always thought war was NOT the way to fix anything, and all they did was kill kill kill and that is obviously getting us nowhere, and I always hated how it tore families apart, etc. HATED! IT! However, after getting myself educated, I understood why he was doing it and how it really was. It's not AT ALL about killing and tearing apart families. Therefore, I have supported him in everything he has done, from losing weight for the Army, going into the Army, being in the Army, and other things such as how he handles every day situations. I support him and sometimes I don't like the way he does things, but I know that if it were me, he would be there saying "okay, I'm here." so I do the exact same. Even when my family and close friends haven't supported me in some aspects of my life, lately, he has been there. Support is a big BIG facet in a relationship, family, and friendship.

   Last, but not least... The little things. Little things are whatever you see fit. My version of little things are: when my husband sneaks around Wal-Mart to buy me an Angry Birds car magnet, when my little sister tells me "Shelb... I really want you to be home for Christmas... That's a time for family...", when my best friend tells me I'm more of a sister to her than just a best friend, and when my grandma sheds a few tears when my grandpa mentions me moving away. These little things are the things I will look back on in 20 years and think "wow... Look at all the wonderful people who went out of their way to think of me..." and I will appreciate that more than the big things like: getting our first house, buying a new car, or even moving from state-to-state. So the next time your significant other/parent/friend/anyone does a little something for you or says a simple "I appreciate you" "I love you" or compliments you, remember that. Keep in mind that at that point in time, they are thinking about you. A little appreciation for the little things in life will go far.