I recently posted a status on Facebook about how I feel about stay-at-home mothers and/or housewives. I have a feeling it probably will piss a few people off, but I'm tired of just thinking all of this, so I said it.
Here's my thing: If you are going to be a stay at home mom or a housewife, for that matter, remember that YOU chose that. YOU chose to cook, clean, do laundry, manage the bills, take care of your spouse/child/home, go get the groceries, etc. Some people choose to be teachers, nurses, lawyers, factory workers, and many other jobs. They hardly EVER get a pat on the back for doing their job at work, and why? Because that's. Their. Job. If your job is to be a stay at home mom/wife, then I don't think you should get a pat on the back everyday for doing what you're "job description" says you do. Yes, it's nice every once and awhile to get a simple 'thank you' or maybe some flowers, but think about the job your husband does. Do you thank him everyday for going to work and providing? Most likely not. I understand being a mother is A HUGE JOB, but I'm trying to say that plenty of people have done it before you and you will survive without hearing "good job".
Seriously. How many of you wives out there tell your husband "thank you" when he gets home from work? I know I don't. It's not because I'm selfish or that I don't appreciate him, I just don't think about it. Once in a blue moon, I'll tell him I appreciate him and all he has done for us, but it's not an everyday or every week thing. I appreciate my husband more than anyone in my life for all he has sacrificed (we're moving away from all of our friends and family! Sacrifice! He left for 4 months to go through training hundreds of miles away. Sacrifice! We don't get all the things we want, or all the "cool stuff" our friends have. Sacrifice!) and all he is doing for us and our future children. However, I don't tell him that very often and maybe I should. He chose to go into the Army, and that's that. So if you CHOOSE to be a stay at home mother or a housewife, you should be expected to do all of the normal things that they would do.
It's nice to feel appreciated, yes. Yes, I totally 100% understand that being a mother may possibly be the hardest job in the entire world because you're on duty 24/7. I also understand that I'm NOT a mother, I'm not a stay at home mother, and I honestly don't "understand" how hard it is. But really, I can imagine. You're up all day and all night taking care of a child on top of all the other duties in your home, that wouldn't get done without you. Yes, I get that. But I'm saying if you do that, you shouldn't be whining when your husband doesn't notice that you mopped the kitchen floor. You CHOSE that. You could go back to school, seeing as there is PLENTY of money out there for young mothers, low-income families, etc. You could go get a job outside of the home, if you wanted. Yeah, by getting a job you would have to leave your child in the care of someone else and 1. that is extremely difficult when you're used to spending all the time taking care of them and especially if you have to have control (like me) and 2. it comes at a cost. Day-care can easily be $100/week and if you work a minimum wage job with about 20 hours a week, expect to make right around $100-$150. So really, if it's not plausible for you, then no one is saying you HAVE to. You could also work online, and be able to be with your child, eliminating the cost of child-care, and that would give you some extra money to help out and not have to pay for a day care. Really, it's all a matter of choices.
Also, if you feel under-appreciated and like you aren't getting enough appreciation for all you do in the house/for your spouse, maybe you should talk to them. If you're married, you should be able to tell your spouse your feelings and why you feel that way.
Little did you know while reading this post, I plan to become a stay at home mother/housewife as soon as things settle down for us. So I know what I'm in for and every time I feel "under-appreciated" I will talk to my husband and read this blog to remind myself the reality of the situation.
No one should ever feel unappreciated. I dont and I know Adam doesnt. We remind each other constantly.how much we appreciate what the other peson does. Whether its him working and supporting me or me cooking amf cleaning for him. No, we dont say it every day but we say thank you a lot and mostly it goes unsaid but its still felt. I understand what youre saying though. I havr nevet considered myself better or more deserving of anyonr else. I dont think anyone shoulf be a housewife forever. They gotta help out someday especially with how the ecomony is. Everyone needs encouragment though and we all need to feel appreciated :)
ReplyDelete